Owlish Contemplations

If She Never Married

Sometimes I think the things we fear the most are connected with the things we either love the most or want the most. My biggest dream ever since I was a little girl has been to fall in love, get married, and have a family of my own. As I’ve grown older, my ideas of love & marriage have expanded, grown, morphed, and deepened … and the fear of never attaining them has only risen more. Perhaps because I’ve never dated anyone or had someone fall in love with me, it’s been easy for the doubt to creep in that it will never happen. And what if it didn’t? I won’t know if singleness is my life-long calling until the day that I die, but if it is …

If she never married, she wanted her life not to be a pity-party, but a joyful celebration of serving others.

If she never married, she wanted to be the most fun-loving, adventurous single person out there.

If she never married, she wanted to learn a new language and become fluent in it.

If she never married, she wanted to bake cinnamon rolls with her nephew & have sleepovers with her niece.

If she never married, she wanted to go to writing workshops and write several books.

If she never married, she wanted to explore the deepest ends of the earth, take lots of pictures, and make friends in dozens of countries.

If she never married, she would always want her pupils to call her Miss Lydia and with them, make the most exciting classroom filled with possibilities.

If she never married, she wanted to devote that much more time to knowing Jesus and spreading the Gospel for Him.

If she never married, she still wanted a life brimming with the things that she loved – a cozy house welcoming to friends, family, and passers-by; cups of tea on rainy nights; teaching in a classroom filled with little ones; theatrical experiences; travels around the world; discipling & mentoring those that God brought her way …

If she never married, she knew that it was because God had an assignment for her on this earth that she couldn’t accomplish with a husband and family.

If she did marry … she would happily take up that assignment, and quite possibly still do many of the things on this list.

But the thing about marriage is that it’s not a cue for when life will begin. This is my life – all of that which I described above and more. It’s just whether God will bring me a best friend to share the adventure with & teach me things I couldn’t learn on my own … or whether He wants me to walk through life learning to trust Him more through my singleness.

For today, I am single. And 1st Corinthians 7:34 must be my theme verse: “An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.”

I pray that whichever gift I am given for my life – single or married – I would use it to give the most amount of glory to Jesus.

One thought on “If She Never Married

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