Day 19 – Confessions of a Messy Heart

I hope you don’t think that I think I have it all together – that I have all the right answers and that life is perfect for me because I sometimes know how to get words out on paper to express my heart. That’s what I would like to think sometimes. But it’s a lie. Because in reality, I’m just like you and you’re just like me – we’re messy, distracted human beings with the battle scars of sin all over our hearts.

There’s a reason Ephesians 6:12 says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Satan is a master of deceit. And just when I think all is going well with me and I’ve got it under control, he hits me where I’m least expecting it … and I’ve tripped and fallen again over my own stupid pride.

Pride … that ugly beast I wrestle with the most. The one that convinces me that I’m better than others, that I’m more special and unique, and that I am not wrong. No, somehow I can always convince myself that I’m always right. I hate admitting that I’m wrong. Humble pie is my least favorite to eat … And then pride’s twin brother insecurity leaps in, and I’m struggling with the opposite – of trying to find a way to validate myself and prove myself and here I go again worrying about what others think of me.

And it seems like I’ll just never win the battle. Do you know what I’m talking about? That one sin that drags you down, that you fight again and again till you’re exhausted, that wants to defeat you and say you’ll never make it? Sometimes it seems like we’ll never win … but the promise of God’s Word says that HE has already won. We don’t need to live defeated lives to sin that threatens us. Ephesians chapter 1 says that “His incomparably great power for us who believe … is like the working of His mighty strength, which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms.”

Surely if God could raise His Son from the dead, don’t you think He could conquer the power of sin in our lives? We can’t do it on our own, true. But He asks us to abide in Him, trust His great power, and watch Him work through us. And that’s what my prayer is today. The old hymn couldn’t have said it better when it said “I Need Thee Every Hour” … yes, every hour, every minute, every second of every day.

Prayer Postures for Today:
– Acknowledge that one sin in your life that you specifically struggle with and ask for God’s power to conquer it today.
– Ask a friend to be your accountability and pray with you against this sin in your life.
– Meditate on a Scripture verse that will help to attack that sin.
– Surrender to the power of Christ working in you and depend on His strength when it seems impossible.

Father, please work in my sinful heart today and make me more like You. I trust that You and You alone have the power to break sin’s hold in my life. You can take a nasty heart infected with pride and insecurity and cleanse it to make it pure and new in You. I pray against the power of Satan’s lies in my life and ask that You destroy them so that I will listen only to Your voice of truth. Thank You for conquering sin and death. I love You, my Abba.

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