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Day 28 – An Idolatrous Heart

I prop open my sleepy eyes and wrap my hands around my steaming mug of breakfast tea as I struggle to stay awake for morning devotions. I sigh a little bit about wading through Old Testament prophets such as Ezekiel, and my eyes flit to my phone to check the time before I have to get ready for the day. Just thinking about the day’s schedule exhausts me, and all I want to do is crawl back into bed.

And then, I read this – like a bullet straight to my unsuspecting heart:

Ezekiel 6:9 –
“-how I have been grieved by their adulterous hearts, which have turned away from me, and by their eyes, which have lusted after their idols.”

And I suddenly understand why I have felt hollow and emotionless these past few weeks – because I have replaced the delights of my relationship with my Savior with a thousand and one things that have filled my busy schedule. And God calls those things detestable idols. Even if they are good things in and of themselves.

Idols are anything that take the place of God in our lives. And believe me, they are sneaky and deceitful. I thought I had been carefully dealing with such things in my life – making sure that I wasn’t valuing other things such as money or marriage or my self-image more highly than Christ. But there is a whole different kind of idolatry that sets in when we are unaware – and it’s called “time commitments.”

I have allowed school, theater, CYT, HYPE, Cru, and friendships to become priorities, filling my schedule and creeping in to steal my heart away from my Father. For what? Yes, I enjoy them, yes, I feel productive and satisfied that I’m giving back, but ultimately they don’t satisfy me the way sitting at the feet of my Heavenly Father does. When I can’t breathe because I’m so overwhelmed by everything that must be done, surely this is a sign that I am loving this world more than I am loving the One who made me.

A quote from Ann Voskamp says this:

“If you want to know where your heart is look to where your mind goes when it wanders.”

My mind has been wandering way too much to a never-ending to-do list, somehow thinking that my identity will be found in doing all of these things and having people admire me for them. It comes down to me. The ultimate idol of self. How well I do things. When really, all those things can wait. The only thing that matters is what my Father thinks of me, and how I can be glorifying Him. And today He’s calling me to let go of these idolatrous attachments and come running back to His arms. And when I do, I realize just how thirsty I’ve been for Him all along. Truly the sign that He is the only one my heart will ever find total satisfaction in.

Prayer Postures for Today:
– Pray for God to make you aware of what things have become idols in your life.
– Confess that you have valued these things more than you have your relationship with Christ.
– Pray for fresh beginnings, a cleansed heart, and a deeper thirst for God.

Papa, I thought I could do it all and keep my relationship up with You on the side – a little bit of added extra at the beginning and end of the day to “bless” it. How foolish my adulterous heart has been. You should be the One I value above everything else … forgive me, Lord, for loving other things more than You. I see now that my heart has been lying to me to keep me from seeing this idolatry. Please cleanse my heart and draw me with your irresistible grace to the place of love only we share. Its reward is far sweeter than any of these other things on earth can possibly offer me. I love you, my Abba.

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