Dating · Men · The Classy Lady · Women

How Rare is the Man


We all want to be found beautiful. Attractive. Someone who makes someone else’s heart beat faster for just a moment. Someone who holds another’s gaze for a fraction longer than necessary.

And of course, our society has capitalized on this desire and taken the beauty obsession to extreme, unhealthy measures – placing unrealistic expectations on men and women alike. It’s why the cosmetics industry will most likely never go out of business, and why advertisements are always telling us there’s just a little more we can do.

So we put on the make-up, buy the outfits, get our hair done, and paint our nails – for the fleeting moment when someone will smile as they see us, and say, “Wow! You look beautiful.”

It’s a nice feeling, isn’t it?

But what about later after the make-up is washed off, the sweats are on, the hair is in a messy bun, and you’re lying on the couch? What nice feeling comes then? (Well, comfort, for one …)

The truth is, dressing up is fun and the compliments are nice (and so is lounging on the couch).

But there is one thing that the industry can’t bottle up and sell – one thing they can’t manufacture, despite all their glossy ads and airbrushed images.

It’s the beauty that lingers no matter what your outside looks like – the beauty that is woven into the very fabric of who you are.

How common is the man who appreciates the beauty on one’s face. Yet how rare is the man who appreciates the beauty found in one’s soul.

The best compliment I’ve ever been given is “You have a beautiful soul.” And only one who knows me well could honestly say that to me – showing that they see so much more than the average passerby on the street.

This kind of man is one who is a study of your character, your desires, and your dreams.

This kind of man encourages that which you are passionate about, because he knows it makes your eyes shine all the brighter.

This kind of man doesn’t expect perfection, because he knows how beautiful honesty, progress, and humility are.

This kind of man knows that your deepest beauty is forged in a character built through your relationship with Christ.

This kind of man might know objectively that you aren’t what the world considers the most beautiful person on the planet. But to him, your soul loveliness makes you the most beautiful person he will ever meet.

He’s not waiting for fireworks and an angel’s sign to know that you are a gift from God. He sees your intrinsic worth and value through the intentional relationship he’s built with you, and wouldn’t dare waste a moment of time without you.

And what makes this kind of man so rare?

The beautiful soul housed inside his very self. The one who dreams God’s deep dreams for his life. The one who values relationships over things. The one who is passionate about pursuing God’s best for his life. The one who sees beauty in ordinary things. The one who doesn’t conform to society’s standards. The one who skips shallow flirtations and has the best of conversations with you instead.

If he’s so rare, you might ask, then how do you know he exists?

Oh, I know he exists. I’ve met him a few times. And I feel honored to know men like this. They are a reminder that God is still in the business of shaping incredible men for his service.

I only pray that I can become that kind of rare woman who has the soul beauty that is honored by rare men. The woman who has nobility and integrity of heart – and passion and focus of the spirit to do what God has called her to do.

Maybe if all of us focused more on becoming that kind of person, it wouldn’t be so rare anymore – and it would be more common to appreciate the beauty of what’s underneath instead of what’s just on the outside.

And maybe by affirming this worth in one another, we would have a lot less jealousy, strife, anger, and hatred toward one another.

I don’t expect an overnight revival. But maybe tomorrow we can each take one small step in that direction.

By telling someone – genuinely – that they have a beautiful soul.


Photo by Ben White on Unsplash.

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