On this tired, early morning when I began to make my bed, these words came to me:
“You are enough for me, God.”
And I instantly wanted them to be true, no matter how I felt throughout the day.
You are enough for me, God.
If all I ever get in life is what I have right now, You are enough.
When I see other people’s happy lives go past me, You are enough.
When I feel tired, lonely, and discouraged, You are enough.
When I think I can’t function without someone else’s love and attention, You are enough.
When I think of my money and time, limited as they might feel, You are enough.
When I rise in the morning, You are enough.
When I pause to catch my breath at noon, You are enough.
When I lay my head on my pillow at night, You are enough.
When I feel like I’m not enough, You are enough for me.
And then I was reminded of these words I penned this last summer:
I need a Savior more.
I need a Savior more than I need a husband.
I need a Savior more than others’ praise of me.
I need a Savior more than feeling good about myself.
I need a Savior more than a clean house and obedient students.
I need a Savior more than good health and a nice body.
I need a Savior to save me from the worship of all these things and feeling like I “need” them.
I need a Savior.
Because if I have Him, everything else falls into place.
He is teaching me slow obedience. The surrender of my emotions to His unchanging truth. The giving-up of lesser things to gain the most important – a deeper relationship with Him.
He is graciously giving me words to pray prayers I need, but maybe don’t fully desire yet. And He is giving me the grace to remember that’s why I need Him – for all the times I don’t want Him enough.
He’s reminding me that this is why I need the Gospel – for all my imperfect desires, my distorted loves, my distracting idols. He doesn’t expect me to have them all figured out – He expects me to come to Him daily so that He can remind me of who I am in Him – forgiven and forever washed clean.
I need Him more than I’ll ever know.
And He is more than enough for everything I think I need.
May these truths sink in deeper every day, and may my dependence on my Savior and His Word grow more beautiful to me than anything else in this world.
Soli Deo Gloria.