Dating · Singleness

If You Have Someone, Hold Them Closely


If you have someone whose gaze lingers on you, because to him you are a bit of magic in human form – savor that gaze for all its worth.

If you have someone who wraps his arms around you and makes you feel safer with his presence, cherish that safety with all you’ve got.

If you’ve got someone whose eyes dance with delight at the sight of you, whose texts brighten your day, whose words make you feel valued – hold on tightly to the memories that you’re forming together every single day.

If you’ve got someone to enter rooms with, dance with at weddings, kiss good-night, pray with over meals, and sit with on airplanes – don’t ever take that for granted.

Some of us don’t have that. Some of us have never had that. Some of us have had it and lost it. Some of us have only imaginings of what that’s like. Some of us only have memories of what that’s like.

And if you feel like you once had that with your spouse, but have gotten stuck in a rut – please, I beg of you – give all you can to dig yourself out of that rut. Your marriage, your relationship is worth saving and fighting for.

If you can’t remember the last time you gazed at him with delight, I beg you to see him with new eyes. If you can’t remember the last time you were captivated by her, I ask you to sit down and write down all the ways again until you remember how blessed you are to have her.

If you are one of the people for whom the magic worked – don’t ever let that magic go.

Some days it might be hidden behind weary chores and long schedules. Some days it might be lost in a fight over something trivial or behind self-centered indifference. Some days it might be disguised as productivity or duty or boring to-dos.

But some of us would give anything to have someone to fight with, to do chores with, to come home to at the end of that long day.

The longer you are without something, the more sweetly you savor it once you’ve received it.

So please don’t try to tell me that marriage is hard work and not a fairy tale come true. Believe me, I already know that.

But I would happily trade that hard work and messy fairy tale for all the exhausting hard times spent being single. It is worth it. And I won’t believe anyone who tries to downplay it and pretend like it’s not that great.

Because I know that the sound of his voice saying my name would be savored a thousand times more deeply because of the many years in this silent house.

I know that our laughter together would be all the more golden because of too many tears shed alone.

I know that our conversations, our prayers, our dreams together would make me a better person – would challenge me to grow, inspire me, and take me to new places.

I have spent enough years contemplating marriage and love to know that it is not the ultimate blessing in life. A relationship with Christ Jesus is.

But I also know that God did not create man to live alone – He created him to have a companion and a helpmeet in a woman. I know that by His design, life is richer and more beautiful when shared with another person.

So if you’ve been given that gift, please don’t take it for granted. Tell your man or your woman how much you love them, dote on them a little more, and care for the incredible relationship you’ve been given. Because through those relationships, God can use them to change the world for His glory. He can use your love as an example of His own.

And that kind of sacrificial, covenantal love is a taste of Christ’s love for the church – so always let it point you back to Him and His desire to make Himself known through even this, your love and your marriage.

It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.


And PS: to all my single friends, let’s get together and have a party and love each other lavishly because we also deserve some roses, a pedicure, a latte, and a laughter-filled party game or two. Just because a man isn’t there to call you beautiful doesn’t mean you aren’t. You are, and God is doing great things through you, too.

Love you all – marrieds and singles alike.


Photo by Travis Grossen on Unsplash.

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