I’ve rather neglected my poor little blog this month … and this post was supposed to come at the beginning, not the end – but it WAS written on May 5th, and it certainly has proved to come true in my life this month in so many ways. Thank the Lord for His grace.

This is a month for brokenness.

“Loaves and Fishes”

“If my life is broken when given to Jesus, it is because pieces will feed a multitude, while a loaf will satisfy only a little lad.” ~Ruth Stull

That little lad could have kept his lunch to himself. He could have been afraid to speak up, knowing it was foolishness to even suggest such a small offering. He could have selfishly thought only of his own hunger and need and ignored those of the masses.

But he chose instead to trust. Trust a Father bigger than his own plans and dreams and imaginations … trust that He’d take care of the bigger picture – he just needed to do his part. When he did – thousands were blessed.

Brokenness. I shy away from brokenness. It hurts. I sometimes just want to hold on to what’s safe, what I can control (or think I can control). But how foolish! What do I gain – and what does anyone else gain – when I clutch my whole pieces to myself? He calls me to the altar of sacrifice where I can surrender my security, my control, my selfish wishes. When He breaks it all apart, suddenly blessings tumble forth that I never would have dreamed of. Suddenly life is more rewarding and joy-filled. My schedule is determined by He who knows best. My mind is filled with thoughts from the Father. My will is molded unto the Holy One’s heart.

The breaking is painful at first. But the more it spreads, the further it reaches … the more sweetness is poured into my life, and the more I see what I was truly made for – the Master’s holy purposes. The less I think of myself and my own ways, and the more I think of others and how I can meet their needs … and the more Christ’s priorities become my own priorities.

Let me be a broken blessing, I pray.